So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
