I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
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