wat bout pragnant strippers??
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
