I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
