i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
She's not a foreskin expert like you
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
