He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
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Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I may have just made our entire microwave glow green. Like big green. Like spark and make me shit green.
Like worse than the time I blew up the microwave with the egg green.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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