Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
Randomize
