i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize