I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
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