Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
