Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
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