My hand turned me down
Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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