Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
She bit a glass in half.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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