Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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