Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
