I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
