Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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