at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
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