some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
be right there i have to get my cape
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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