I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
