I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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