JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Randomize