I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
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