i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
