All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize