let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
