I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize
