I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
