mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Randomize
