the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
