oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
