He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
