Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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