therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
