cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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