Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
