I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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