just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
You left your underwear on the fireplace
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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