Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Just realized I probably only have one more wedding where I can say I fucked the bride.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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