absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
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