i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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