Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
