The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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