Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
