Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
