you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
