Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
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