I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
