No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
