Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
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