Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
