so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
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Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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