I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Randomize
