I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
nutella sex= disaster
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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