So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
