dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
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The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
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Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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