I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
