Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Just cropdusted the office
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
