i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Randomize
