Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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