and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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