like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
