If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
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