I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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