The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
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