Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
He just sent me a picture of himself naked while cooking pancakes and he made the caption "bitchin' in the kitchen"
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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