maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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